T Bird's Dilemma
He was born in 1959 to a freewheeling young beatnick woman in the back of a van beside the interstate. She had no idea who the father was. When she sat up, the first thing she saw was a turquoise Ford Thunderbird whizzing by on the inside lane, so she named him T Bird Lane. She went home and skipped the birth certificate process altogether.
After a wh…